This year, 2020, has taught me truly that life is short and we must act now if we truly want to live. Reality check after reality check really will set your life in focus. Recently my ex-girlfriend reached out to me out of the blue to inform me that a friend had passed away unexpectedly. As I’ve repetitively said, time heals all wounds and the healing energy is really wisdom we’ve gained. I took this moment to clear the air between us, life is way too short to have grudges and petty disagreements. We both held the blame on how we treated each other. During that relationship we were both at low points in our lives and took the pain out on each other. I was delighted to hear she was going through a similar self discovery phase as well. See, things happen for a reason once again in my story.

Real quick on the title of this chapter. The title is a nod to season 2 of Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu episode 33, in which we find the main character, Natsuki Subaru have a mental breakdown as he is finally able to tell someone what has been paining him for so long. As I’ve said in the past, when I set out on this journey writing was an outlet for me to put my story out in the universe. But as of late, I now view this journey to have an open and honest conversation about our mental health.

This year started out with a leap of faith for me, leaving a very stable job with the intentions of personal discovery. September 2020 introduced the path to Enlightenment and a revitalization of my inner focus. Now I see myself approaching another leap of faith in the future.

I’ve had one too many reality checks come my way, and it’s finally time to listen. Life is way too short and tomorrow is honestly never promised. The crossroads I see myself starting to approach is a drive to experience the world. The ever planner that I am, I have set myself a 5 year plan to meet at these crossroads. I see two paths in front of me: 1) move to internationally (Japan, Scotland, Canada, etc…) or 2) buy an RV and drive around the country. It seems I’ve developed a major case of wanderlust.

Moving internationally would definitely be a high risk high reward path to follow. I’ve been learning the Japanese language and I would believe in 5 years I’d be confident in conversational mastery. I have a basic idea on what I would do for employment and where I’d want to live. I do feel as if there is a major part of me pulling me in this direction to step way outside of my comfort zone and just jump in feet first for once. Japan has always drawn me in with its beauty, where it be the shrines that are numerous throughout the country or the beautiful landscapes that seem otherworldly.

Life on the road however will really change me to embrace a life of mindfulness in multiple ways. I view this path that I’m about to take as a spiritual journey to truly connect with both myself and the world around me. Being able to live in multiple states all throughout the year really plays into my inner gypsy. Also with the RV route, I’ll be able to spend quality time with my parents from time to time. My one fear with this route is it’ll play into my general sense of isolationism. I’ve a very introverted person to say the least. I like anonymity, so I fear cutting myself off from a community will cause to further isolate myself. But you never know what the future holds.

Now one of these paths is near impossible for me due my multiple chronic diseases (Cystic Fibrosis and Osteochondromatosis); as most immigration policies are strict for those coming into the country with high medical needs. Also if I were to move to another country I would need to make sure the medication that I’m currently on is available. I am still planning on making trips to Scotland and Japan at some point in time, but at this point I’ve all but ruled out living there. So that leads me to the likely path that I will be embarking on, traveling my own backyard.

Living minimally on the road is something that has been intriguing to me over the past few years. Last year I attempted to stop worrying about worldly possessions, only to fall back once again into their grasp. This time I mean it, I want to live very minimally. I want to enjoy the world around me, I want to see the beauty that I have been provided by Mother Earth.

I need to say it again, life is way to fucking short. We need to live with intent and just dance to the beat of our own drum. As I’ve said many times I’m close with mortality and I want to make the most of my time left on this world. It’s finally time a put true value into my life and make memories. Yes I already “value” my life, but I’m talking about it making something more fulfilling out of my time. We need to live for today rather than worrying about tomorrow.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present.

Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda

As my reality checks have proven to me, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and never will be. It’s time to finally live and ride my wave. Yes the path I laid out in front of myself will require me to alter my lifestyle, but honestly it’s a needed change. By shifting my focus from worldly possessions to otherworldly possessions (memories, experiences, fulfillment) I will bring more value to my life.

It’s times like these when you need to listen to the calls of your heart.