I generally have an issue when it’s time to recognize something as real.

I know I had an issue with alcohol, but I never claimed I needed to take a vow of sobriety as that would make my issues with alcohol real. I do not deny the fact that I had issues with abusing alcohol as I’ve driven plenty of times likely over the limit. My lowest point was waking up in a puddle of my own vomit praying to the porcelain god. That morning was a fun therapy session with me being extremely hungover and my therapist not being too pleased with my decisions.

There were times at home where I’d pour a heavy glass of scotch to attempt to drown out my mind, for it to only turn on me and make it worse. Johnnie Walker and I were very close friends but that was a destructive friendship. I had a friend, who in her own words called me “the scary type of drunk” as I was able to hide how intoxicated I actually was. This would always lead to unfortunately driving while over the limit.

I originally stopped heavily drinking when I started dating my ex-girlfriend out of respect. I didn’t want to risk her own sobriety. In January of 2020 I met up with an old coworker at a local bar to shoot the shit and to catch up as I hadn’t been in the office for months to a disability leave for mental health. I told him what had caused me to end up on short term disability and likely where my employment was heading. I was responsible that night drinking well below my limit, but I still felt off. I knew it was time to stop for good.

January 10, 2020 would be the official first day of my journey of sobriety with alcohol. Not going to lie, it was weird hanging with friends when they are drinking and I’m the only sober one there. Do I miss drinking? Not really because drinking brought me into some dark places mentally.

So I will finally say that yes, I am taking a vow of sobriety with alcohol, because I need to recognize the facts that yes I had a real problem that was bound to get a lot worse if I didn’t truly stop. Now I’m not completely sober as I use medicinal marijuana for pain management, but from here forward I will not touch alcohol ever again.