Male infertility, or really infertility in general can be a huge contributor to issues with depression, self-confidence, lack of communication, and suffering.

My own journey with infertility came to be due to a failing marriage (now it wasn’t the cause). Now I will say that this journey has brought a lot of closure to me and has explained 30 years worth of medical mysteries about myself. But it wasn’t without any pain or self doubts along the way.

Last year, shortly after my diagnosis I made a tough decision for myself that likely I would not have any biological children. This was due to the fact that I have 2 rare genetic diseases/mutations, one of which is almost guaranteed to be passed down and the other is a 25% chance if my partner is also carries a CF related gene. Sorry mom and dad, looks like bio-grandkids aren’t on the table for now at least, but there will be the 4 legged kind.

Luckily when I started down this path I was already seeing a therapist to help me with my issues with depression and anxiety, however some may not be so lucky. I still remember the day I got the result back from my second semen sample test and finding out again that a big fat zero sperm were in my sample. So does my not-gonna-make-a-baby baby gravy make me any less a of a man? Does the fact that I cannot naturally impregnate someone of the opposite sex make me less than I am?

I will say, yes I did experience a bout of depression after getting my second round of results back from my fertility doctor. That is to be expected when going through a life event of this sort. Now my experience with infertility might be a little different than your’s however. I came with a factory installed vasectomy due to a little chronic disease known as Cystic Fibrosis. When I was walking through this journey, I knew deep down that my likely answer to my infertility was always going to CF related. When I looked back at my current and past medically history, all roads pointed to CF in my eyes. And to be fair the depression for me at least, was greater after my trip to the urologist for a once over, and that is when we discovered my lack of a vas deferens. My urologist did tell me not all was lost and he has helped many CF patients with harvesting sperm to utilize for artificial insemination. And I do know that you should be able to get some kind of insurance coverage as the procedure is medically necessary.

Infertility doesn’t make me any less of a man. And infertility doesn’t make you any less of a person either. I know that are those out there that wish they had a factory installed vasectomy. Now I may not know what it is like to suffer from a hormonal infertility, but I do know that there are therapeutic medication that helps balance everything out.

In other chapters I have been very critical of our society as a whole for a variety of reasons, the main one being the “go, go, go” mentality. Its times like this where we truly need to slow down. Life will always bring some level of hurdles our way, and yes some may be taller for some some, but its your race. Life’s major hurdles like this are intended for us to slow down and appreciate what we are about to learn. When we move mindfully through our hurdles, we pause and reflect on we are able to build a greater understanding of that moment in time.

For those who are out there suffering in silence, don’t be afraid to lean on others. I know I sound like a broken record at times, but seeking professional help was the best single decision I did for myself. Think of it this way, infertility is just another speed bump in the journey we call life. Yes it’s definitely one of the tougher bumps, but you’ll get through it.